Now Don't Have a Heart Attack

Yes, folks it is true. I am updating the blog. And I am including random pictures of the kids at the river. this is what summer is all about for me- lazy hot afternoons at the Yuba River. This was just a quick evening run with Becky and her kids when they stopped in town on their way to Oregon. Is there anything better than being in the canyon with the trees and cold river water, the water smoothed boulders? I think this is one of those magical spots that speaks to all Nevada County natives. But the pictures have nothing to do with the update- just included for fun.

 

After months of listening to the guilt trips from Becky for months. I am finally sitting down to write a little bit. This summer I realized that there are several people in my life who this little blog is our primary form of communication. And not just the acquaintances that it would be nice to keep in touch with. It is some of the women I love and value the most. Who live far from home but I wish were a part of my every day life. Women who love me and my kids. I realized I missed our virtual relationship. I missed the comments and sharing of our lives. So I am recommitting to this silly little thing called a blog. But more importantly I am committing my long distance friendships, to sharing a little part of me with those I love (and any stranger who happens across my little corner of the internet).

It isn't that there isn't anything for me to share. In fact the problem may be that I have too much to share. this has been a transformative year for me. In almost every aspect of my life things are drastically changing.

 

The most obvious one is that I have lost 35 lbs this year. I still have a ways to go. But I am happy with my progress so far. I am having a very stress filled summer so my goal is just not to gain any weight until October and then I will shift focus back to the weight. I know Andrea, you want a picture. I will get on that. I think there are some okay ones from Ohio.

But the even bigger change has been that I have started a new medication and it has given me 5-6 totally pain free hours a day. I still need to do my regular massage and exercises. I still need a little vicoden- but I can't tell you how amazing it is to have pain hours every day. After 4 years of almost constant pain I can't believe how amazing life is with a little pain free time every day. It is the first time I have felt hopeful about the future in a long time. For so long I have been terrified of a future with unending pain.  But now I can see a brighter future.

 

An even bigger change it that I have started therapy as well this year. I have had such great success with the medication for my back and it convinced me that this pain is mostly stored anxiety and trauma. So I decided to try some EMDR therapy. This was a good decision. I have had some progress there- but a lot more work to go. A couple of amazing moments have made all the work worthwhile.

There is still more.

 

I have also been in the process of leaving the pediatrics practice I have been at the last ten years. I will go into a partnership with one of the pediatricians I have been working with. The opportunity to own my own business, to make my own decisions about patient care and how the office should run. It is an amazing opportunity. But it is also crazy stressful and terrifying. There is a lot of money invested, a million decisions and things to oversee, and a new working dynamic to figure out. I have noticed that the weeks that are getting more and more stressful are also weeks that my pain is worsening. So you can see why I am putting the weight loss to the side for the summer. I am just happy that with all this stress my weight is just holding steady.

 

I am looking forward to sharing all the fun things we have been doing this year. We have had trips to Texas, Michigan, and Ohio this summer. So I will keep posting so you can all see the great things our family has been up to.