This is the talk I gave for mothers Day- I am quite proud of it. So for the non-mormons out there a little explanation first. We do not have a paid clergy so all the jobs of running the church are taken care of by congregation members. This includes taking turns preparing the sermon for Sacrament meeting. This year I was asked to do the talk on Mothers Day. I said this was really not a good year to ask me to do this. I told them that a month ago I told my mother she was no longer welcome to have any contact with me. This might not be the year for me to talk about mothers. I was then told the topic they had in mind was "The Joy of Motherhood"- and I thought well that I get. And then the next week my step-dad called to let us know my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer- and so far it looks pretty bad. Not really the frame of mind you want to be in during a mothers day talk. But I really focused on all the things I really believe and value about motherhood. The things I truly believe makes my role of a mother divine. And I think that I found a way to really express these deeply held beliefs I have. So this is mostly for Susie who wanted to read it and a couple of others I know will like it. I hope you do.

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The Princess by the Fire by Jessie Wilcox Smith

Many women dread the requisite Mothers Day talks. Too often the sainted paragon discussed on this day is far from our experience in reality. Some people have lost their mother or that relationship is painful and fraught with conflict- or maybe you are on of the few women who don't quite live up to that ideal of "mormon motherhood".

When I was in seminary I had a wise teacher who told us over and over again- "You can't control the family you come from but you can make the family you create the best you can." This was a message I really hold dear- and whenever I am feeling low or discouraged I remember what really matters- what will bring me my greatest joy is the family Alma and I are creating with Beckett and Coen.

Not long ago I was listening to a Harvard Sociologist being interviewed on NPR. His area of expertise was happiness. He expressed his confusion that most parents say that their children are the greatest source of their happiness, but when you poll them their greatest stress and anxiety all comes from their children. As I listened to this interview I kept thinking- he is missing the point. Children cause so much stress, anxiety, and conflict because they are the most important thing to us. To have the tremendous joy that comes with motherhood you have to have the pain as well. We know from Nephi's teachings:

22 And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end.

23 And they would have had no ^achildren; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no ^bjoy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no ^csin.

24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who ^aknoweth all things.

25 ^aAdam ^bfell that men might be; and men ^care, that they might have ^djoy.

In Moses we learn that Eve understood this principle:

Autn:reference - http://scriptures.lds.org/moses/5/11#11

Moses 5:11

And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.

Sherrie Dew said:

Eve set the pattern. In addition to bearing children, she mothered all of mankind when she made the most courageous decision any women has ever made and with Adm opened the way for us to progress. She set an example of womanhood for men to respect and women to follow, modeling the characteristics with which we as women have been endowed: heroic faith, a keen sensitivity to the Spirit, an abhorrence of evil, and complete selflessness. Like the Savior, "who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross," Eve, for the joy of helping initiate the human family, endured the Fall. She loved us enough to help lead us.

Being the mother of toddlers is an every day reminder of this principle. In one day you feel physical exhaustion, laughter, frustration, joy, monotony, and awe- over and over again. Buried in the every day cycle of dishes, meals, dishes, time outs, and laundry are moments- precious seconds of joy, love and laughter; unlike anything else in your life. These are the moments that make the many difficult hours worthwhile. Cherish them, savor them, record them. Do not let the endless to do list distract you from the quiet every day rewards of being a mother. Anna Quindlen wrote:

The biggest mistake I made as a parent is the one that most of us make.... I did not live in the moment enough. this is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. there is one picture of my three children sitting on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Courtesy of the Kelly Collection

Jessie Willcox Smith, "Mother’s Morning"

I cherish the "shinning moments of joy and satisfaction" as Elder Ballard called them. I will always remember the morning the boys and I were the only ones at the Yuba river. I sat on the beach and fed Beckett while Coen played at the shore. I marveled at the peace- the beauty of the canyon the river flows down. The joy of being with my boys in such an amazing setting. It was one of those perfect moments. I am sure a couple of minutes later Coen hit the baby with a rock- but for that moment it was perfect. I will always treasure how Coen would hold my hand and say "happy happy" when we were taking a walk, or reading a book. Or how Beckett puts his little hands on my cheeks, looks in my eyes and gives me a wet sloppy kiss at least once a day. And no one makes me laugh like Coen. This week he told me he had gone to Argentina to buy two horses, Cedric and Petal. I asked him how he liked it and he told me it was too hot. A little later he told me his horses ate chocolate as he put candy in the basket. I told him imaginary horses ate imaginary chocolate. These are the little moments of joy we are rewarded with as mothers.

Aside from these everyday rewards we also earn a deeper and more spiritual reward. As we come to understand the divinity of motherhood we gain a testimony of our worth and grow closer to Heavenly Father. We know that service is rewarded with love and joy- on other calling is so full of this opportunity as motherhood. The better we love and serve our children the more we come to emulate God the Father.

The importance and divinity of motherhood has been taught over and over. In 1935 the Prophet declared "The true spirit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives to women the highest place of honor in human life." A little over three decades later the 1st presidency taught "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angles." Elder Nelson recently said "Mothers are essential to God's great plan of happiness, their sacred work is opposed by Satan who would destroy the family and demean the worth of women."

I think there are several ways Satan does this. One is the belief that motherhood is not something worth aspiring to- or that motherhood is a waste of time and energy- or even that you are never a good enough mother. I think Elder Ballard's message is important to keep in mind:

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills, and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be "full-time mm," at least during the most formative years of their children's lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-time or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.

If we truly see for ourselves the divine and integral role we play as mothers. We will embrace and rejoice our divine preordained calling. Sherry Dew wrote:

When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” 3—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, 4 righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. 5 Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.” 6 That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” 7

Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is “as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.” 8

I know that my role as the mother of Coen and Beckett is my greatest challenge and my most divine calling. I know that as I nurture and guide their sweet spirits I am doing the Lords work- the most important work we can do in this life. I also know that I couldn't nearly do the job required of me if I didn't have the knowledge of the plan of salvation and if I hadn't married a loving and faithful husband in the temple.

From Elder Holland:

Yours is the grand tradition of Eve, the mother of all the human family, the one who understood that she and Adam had to fall in order that “men [and women] might be” 9 and that there would be joy. Yours is the grand tradition of Sarah and Rebekah and Rachel, without whom there could not have been those magnificent patriarchal promises to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob which bless us all. Yours is the grand tradition of Lois and Eunice and the mothers of the 2,000 stripling warriors. Yours is the grand tradition of Mary, chosen and foreordained from before this world was, to conceive, carry, and bear the Son of God Himself. We thank all of you, including our own mothers, and tell you there is nothing more important in this world than participating so directly in the work and glory of God, in bringing to pass the mortality and earthly life of His daughters and sons, so that immortality and eternal life can come in those celestial realms on high.

I will end with Sherry Dew's testimony that so perfectly reflects my own:

As mothers in Israel, we are the Lord’s secret weapon. Our influence comes from a divine endowment that has been in place from the beginning. In the premortal world, when our Father described our role, I wonder if we didn’t stand in wide-eyed wonder that He would bless us with a sacred trust so central to His plan and that He would endow us with gifts so vital to the loving and leading of His children. I wonder if we shouted for joy 12 at least in part because of the ennobling stature He gave us in His kingdom. The world won’t tell you that, but the Spirit will.

We just can’t let the Lord down. And if the day comes when we are the only women on earth who find nobility and divinity in motherhood, so be it. For mother is the word that will define a righteous woman made perfect in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, a woman who has qualified for eternal increase in posterity, wisdom, joy, and influence.

I know, I absolutely know, that these doctrines about our divine role are true, and that when understood they bring peace and purpose to all women. Our Father and His Only Begotten Son have given us a sacred stewardship and a holy crown in their kingdom. May we rejoice in it. And may we be worthy of Their trust.

I bear my personal testimony that the eternal rewards and the daily little perfect moments of joy are the fruits of motherhood. I know that this is what makes all the dishes, laundry and temper tantrums worth it. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

In case you are interested here are the talks that really touched me the most, and I quoted or just read as I was preparing.

Sherry Dew- because she is brilliant

Elder Nelson- this one is actually for the men- but good message for all.

These next two seemed to be written just for me- the mother of toddlers at this difficult time. they just had so much compassion and understanding for how tired and overwhelmed it feels.

Elder Holland

Elder Ballard