Thanksgiving

I find when I am overwhelmed- feeling a little sad for myself- you know when you have the whiney mopes- nothing helps so much as trying to be thankful. So even though it is a little early I have been singing For the Beauty of the Earth a lot the last couple of weeks. And then I saw this. I have a new favorite version. I can't listen without crying a little. And I can't watch this and not wish my musical friends and family lived a little closer so we could gather for a homey meal and when the kids are mellow gather around the guitar and piano and sing. I am not as talented as my friends and family but I love singing. I love it. I love singing with those I love. So Marika do you think we could do a nice version of this and then maybe start working on Ave Maria like we have been talking about forever? Anyone else want to come and sing? Susan I think we need a tambourine player, Andrea and Malinda- I would love to sing with your voices. Nick- Cody will you bring your stringed instruments? I think it would be an amazing night. I will provide fabulous food (that is what I do).

And just back to the message. As painful and difficult as this life is I am so overwhelmed by the love which from our birth over and around us lies. I am so thankful. Thankful for the amazing bounty and love and freedom that I take for granted most days.

I was grocery shopping today because our cupboard was bare. Poor kids no yogurt no cereal no bananas what were they going to do? And as I was checking out the immense amount of restocking I thought about all the rice and beans, and canned goods, and frozen food in the garage and felt so silly for thinking we had nothing in the house. There is more food in my "bare" cupboards than many people on this earth could even begin to have access to. How spoiled we are. And do I do enough to acknowledge the bounty in my life? Do I do enough to help those who struggle. How simple and silly my worries seem sometimes.

This picture just sums up me on this vacation.

-Cute top (I really loved a lot of the clothes I packed)

-Curly out of control hair

-Ever present camera around my neck (I know it makes me look like a tourist- but I go everywhere with it)

-Big sunglasses

-I am eating some cheese

-Lovely weather

-Just wandering enjoying the moment

The only thing missing is my cute red shoes. They are darn cute!

This was at Montserrat in Spain. This was also where Coen was begging for me to buy him some cheese. I said no. So the man at that particular stand gave Coen the cheese (because people like to spoil strange children). And Coen put it in his mouth chewed it twice and spit it on the ground. I thought I would die of embarrassment. After cleaning our mess and apologizing to the man we moved on. And I thought- I really couldn't blame him- Spanish cheese is the pits! Which is why I said no when he first asked (if we had been in France I would have encouraged and interest in cheese buying).

I just want to point out that when I first saw this as I was scrolling through Alma's pics tonight my initial thoughts were not so kind to myself. But because I am trying to grow I stopped myself and made me list all the reasons this was a great picture. And now when I look at it I really like it- Now I just have to figure out how to look in the mirror and really like that too.

So if you didn't know I have a thing for Impressionists, and Monet in particular.

And now you get why I love this picture.

The light was perfect- a little country road- slight breeze.

Aren't you just waiting for a lady with a parasol to walk over the hill?

And fair warning I really have a thing for Impressionists. I can be a little obsessive compulsive. And during a very painful year in my childhood I hid in the world of Impressionism. I read a lot and I really read a lot about things I love. So I can talk your ear off- wanted or not- if I get started. Someday I will be a docent at a museum- and bore little school children and old ladies with my accumulated knowledge. For now I try to hold myself in check and not bore the world.

Poor Alma has to travel with me- And for now I just bore him. I keep looking for someone who will be happy to talk about how politics affected the French art movement in the mid to late nineteenth century. I also could recommend several books.

I think I particularly love Monet because his paintings evoke peace, tranquility. And at this time in my life I needed a lot of peace and tranquility. But as much as I love Monet's poppies- it can't begin to touch the peace and joy in my life walking along this road, holding Alma's hand a sleepy baby on his shoulder and a prancing toddler ahead of us. I am living the dream I imagined as a young girl when I gazed at these paintings for hours on end.

I will save my thoughts on the political/social connections to Gaudi's art. I will bore you with those thoughts if I finally get around to blogging on our time in Barcelona.

Becky Says My Boys Wrestle Everywhere

She may be right. Apparently Luke and Charlie were crazy aggressive when they got home from Europe- ambushes, body checks, and long wrestling matches (all enjoyed by the participants with much laughter). But Becky was confused, what had taken over her children? Then she remembered- they just spent 2 weeks with Coen and Beckett.

There is just something about brothers. And I must admit that all this wrestling warms my little heart. I just love the constant rolling on the ground, the giggles, and the sneak attacks. Most of the time they are just enjoying each other in that rough male way of theirs. This is how they like to interact. This is not what they do when they are arguing- that involves screaming, grabbing, and hitting- that gets you a time out. But hiding on the couch until your brother walks by so you can jump on him and knock him to the ground? I ignore that.

All part of my benign neglect parenting theory.

This should have pictures- but uhm it doesn't

Coen is at that age where he is saying the best stuff so here are this weeks favorites.

-He was at Kennedi's house the other day. In typical girl fashion she was debating what to wear. She had finally narrowed it down to two outfits. She then turned to Coen and asked "Which one should I wear Coen?" Coen threw his hands in the air and said "I can't do this!" When asked if he picked his clothes he said "No- my mom does that."

-The other day his cousins gave him a Bears football helmet. When I tried to explain that this was a team in Chicago and what they were called he corrected me. "No this is a new team- see it has a C on the helmet like Coen." When I asked what they were called he said "The Co-nadons. And there quarterback is named Coen Dean Clove and there is a good player named Beckett but he kept punching players and knocking them out so the refs put him on a time out forever."

-He hugs me all the time and tells me he will love me "forever and ever".

-Today he told me "Mom I want to color some tigers. I can do the stripes but I need you to do the rest."

-While I was cooking the four batches of Shepard's pie tonight Coen told me he wanted to watch Project Runway when I told him it wasn't on until tomorrow he asked if he could watch Top Chef then. I think he wanted me to put something I like on so I would sit and cuddle him on the couch.

And just so I can brag about Beckett too- He is just so lovely and plays for hours by himself like Coen never did. Just this afternoon he made soup with his star wars guys- played train tracks- and played in the little oven for several hours, just playing happily.

He does fine motor skills so well- and Coen was really good at the gross motor stuff. Beckett is still in the crib- he has climbed out off and on for a year but never remembers that he can do it for months and months.

He calls Coen "Brovy" which just melts my heart.

I went to kiss him good night the other day and he wiped it off and said "Daddy and Brovy kiss me already" Only I am the only one who could have interpreted this statement.

He feels the need to pray along with anyone else. This includes prayers in sacrament meeting. he prays loudly and if the person skips part he feels should be there he screams it until it is included or I take him out of the room.

We are struggling with bed time. It would be less of an issue if Alma didn't go to bed at the same time and needs his sleep. So I can't really let Beckett through a fit until he wears himself out.

I am really enjoying how fast his vocab is growing.

Coen and Beckett wrestle all day long. They rough house like crazy and kiss and hug each other all day long.

Oh and this is a sad little story. Coen and Beckett have been moving these cement pavers which I just know would injury somebody. But I didn't think it would be me! So Coen had moved their spaceship into the garage pavers and all. And while I was carrying stuff into the garage I didn't see the pile and I fell (very hard) and landed on my knee and hip. So my knee is like ground beef and my dress slacks that still fit are shredded and I have to leave for work in a few minutes. As I was crying and cleaning my knee Coen asked what was wrong. I told him I tripped on the pavers he had left on the floor. He got the saddest look on his little face and said sorry in a little voice. He then ran to the garage and moved all the pavers out. It was so sweet and he was so concerned.

Somedays Motherhood is Just as I Dreamed

Last week I had one of those dreamy perfect days. The boys played for hours and hours with out fighting. (Now if life were really perfect I would have enjoyed this by laying on a blanket in the shade reading- but instead I payed bills and fought with comcast on the phone.) I just love listening in to the kids talking and imagining.

Coen was explaining to Beckett Military strategy here. He was saying things like the bad guys come this way and you are standing here and I am standing here and we go like this and chase them ect... ect. As you can see from the drawings it was a complex and lengthy encounter.

Then they spent a long time putting this together. You may think that this is a strange pile of trash, sticks and the forgotten outside toys- but you would be wrong. This is a spaceship. And you may think the pilot sits in the chair in front, as I did, but you would be wrong. Beckett is really into space right now. But unlike Coen who likes to read books about the Hubble telescope- Beckett just likes to fly around the house making spaceship noises and likes to be called space boy.

I love the phase where they like to line things up and sort. And of course my little OCD Beckett has embraced this with gusto.

At one point Beckett thought that as they had finished putting all the toys in the spaceship they should start putting the pavers there too. I had to end this - Do you see those poor little toes? I can't even imagine the crying when he drops this.

They would take breaks to shoot Mom through the windows.

While Beckett took a nap Coen and I made these. He designed them and glued some of the pieces on and I used the hot glue gun for the ones that needed a little more than craft glue. But I just put things where he told me to. It was fun to work together and I think they turned out great.

Then Coen took off his pants and tuned the couch into a giant obstacle course.

Oh and did you notice how pitiful the patio is. It is awful. I can't wait until we have the time and money to fix it. I just normally try to pretend that I can't see it and it doesn't exist. But I do have dreams.

Coen Has Been Feeling Crafty Too

So we had fun making these.

Fair warning many of you may be getting a random craft bug guy in the mail.

Coen very seriously tried to create something special for many of his cousins.

So I have been feeling a little crafty.

I think I am getting my mojo back.

You see I have been in a little slump lately.

I take that back- it has been a big slump.

It has been months and months- well since April.

And I have felt like I was living in a fog- just surviving.

I didn't know how to come back.

Alma has been waiting for his wife to come back.

And I think she is starting to peak her head out of the hole she has been hiding in.

I am starting to read again- and wanting to craft.

And trying to enjoy my every day moments.

I don't know if it just wanting to move on- or that I scheduled my time at The Meadows and I know I am getting ready to move on.

ANYWAYS- back to the reason I started to post anyways.

I am crafting again.

And I have had these left over beads hanging around since the last Relief Society craft day- and yes I lose money every time I put one of these together. I don't want to hear anymore about it Becky and Alma.

Soooo- I made these necklaces.

But now I don't have anything to do with them. Well I already gave one to Jessica for her birthday- it was teal with a gray ribbon very cute. I also made her a cute little crocheted flower head band and some blue silk clips.

But I do have a deep love of comments on the blog.

It is the desperate insecure giant 13 year old that is my psyche.

I really love comments.

So I will mail these to the three best comments left.

And Becky you will not be chosen.

Unless your comment is amazing.

Because you never leave comments unless you are teasing the pimply 13 y/o.

They are really cute- i think you would like them.

So feel free to leave a comment with a joke or with lavish praise.

Overheard

Beckett I didn't poop on your blanket- I only pooped on my special blankie.

So we are a little obsessed with this song right now. And every time I hear it I think of Kayli who I don't really know but feel like I do because her sister is my adopted sister. So this is for you Kayli.