Day 6

Your Favorite Superhero

Well- I am not a big fan of superheros. Maybe it come from growing up in a girl centered universe. And the girl superheros all seem to be lame versions of the boy ones along the lines of bat girl. But the question did make me think about a couple of things.

The first is I am glad that I have come to the knowledge that the superwoman American mother who can have it all is a myth. You know the woman who unfailingly has a pleasant and cheerful demeanor in front of her children except when she is firm but kind when they need reprimand. The lady whose home is always spotless and yet has time to do crafts with the children, volunteer in the community, and work at a fulfilling job. You know the women who never forgets what she needs at the grocery store or remembers that this Friday it is her turn to take eggs and yogurt to the homeless shelter before Saturday. She is the woman who has a lovely garden that produces bushels of tomatoes, cans those tomatoes, and that night is lovely and pleasant when her husband comes home and cuddles with him on the couch. She is mother, wife, career women, volunteer and complete fiction. I know she is about as real as Superman. And I have no interest in being her or even attempting it. I know that the great learning moments in life take place in the messy imperfect home filled with love. That in our weaknesses we find our humanity, our charity, and the love and support of those who carry us through. That in our humility and knowledge of our failings and righteous intentions we are made more loving, patient, and empathetic. I know that our power and growth comes from our constant struggle to be better, do better; not in the impossible, demeaning, self-abusive judgement of our failures.

And if forced to name a super hero the best I could come up with is Abigail Adams- or one on the other countless real women who achieved miraculous things. I could go on and on with this list.

And as a side note I once attended a talk by Marianne Nieffert about the myth of the superwoman that was brilliant. From one of the women lauded by the press of the eighties as a superwomen (Mother Wife Doctor!)- she talked about all the areas she compromised and as she sees her children have children all the things she wished they knew were not important. Ask me to tell you about it some time when we are chatting.