Victorian Christmas

This is just for you non-locals, who may not know what Victorian Christmas is. Basically it is a street fair on frigid December nights in downtown Nevada City. The above picture is of said downtown. A not so long walk from our house. We like it best on summer evenings when the sunlight lingers and we can meander downtown to get a bite to eat and walk home via the park for the boys. The church at the top of the hill is where our Santa was residing. At the bottom left of the picture was the Santa that was not free- or had a real beard.

Doesn't this make you want to come and visit us? We will also take you to downtown Grass Valley (better shopping), Empire Mine, The Bloomfield ghost town, Malakof diggins, and the Yuba river. We know some great hikes and historic church buildings. And if we are lucky when you are in town there may be a good play in the theater that Mark Twain preformed in (is there an old theater he didn't preform in?). Have I lured you to our little corner of heaven yet? We would love visitors.

Santa Christmas Photos

We went to see Santa at the Methodist Church in Nevada City. He was the best Santa ever! And they had free hot cider and cookies. As soon as Beckett saw him he went running across the room calling "Santa Santa!" And then gave him one of those great Beckett hugs where he squeezes so tight and buries his little face in your neck. He patted Santa's cheeks and would have been happy to sit there all night. He couldn't think of anything he wanted- but when Coen gave Santa a list he ran up to his lap and said "Me too Santa- Legos for me too!" As you can see in the pictures Coen had to think pretty hard about what he wanted. So a big Thank you to the Methodist church and all their volunteers that made this possible- we had a great time.

A you can tell it was pretty cold that night at Victorian Christmas- but we were bundled up and left the church to go sit by the fire and eat fried dough and hot drinks- but no chestnuts this year. Beckett loved all the different music- I think we saw well over ten different groups. The favorite was one by the fire playing a large strange stringed instrument hooked up to an amp. I think it was Asian. Trust Nevada City to provide some good hippy entertainment (dreds and all)! So I highly recommend Victorian Christmas next year- and we didn't even do the pony ride. And if you go give us a call and we will meet you there- it is a short walk for us.

Because Becky Says I Need To Post Photos

Because it is the beginning of the Christmas season I will help you celebrate by posting pictures of our trip to the pumpkin farm. Mind you I still have over two weeks of Europe to post- so you can tell that I am really on top of it. And what says Christmas like pumpkins?

We did run in the fields. I did love the views and the cool weather. But we didn't like the rotten pumpkins and the poorly kept field. The kids kept complaining about the smell and my neat freak wouldn't walk across the field- but would walk only in the mowed paths- which was funny- and a pain in the neck.

Coen asked me to arrange a play date with Kennidi- So we went to the pumpkin patch. On the way home he said "Mom next time I will arrange the play date because I just wanted to go to her house and play with her new toys."

We rode horses.

And the kids put up with me taking pictures.

We looked pensive.

We pulled a pumpkin wagon.

Beckett was thrilled with his pumpkin (I wasn't thrilled about paying for it).

We saw chickens (and goats and cows).

We climbed on haystacks.

But we were not so successful getting a group picture. sigh.

Today Emily DeMartini taught a beautiful lesson in Relief Society. She did a lovely job- and charmingly said some things in Spanish as she hasn't quite made the transition back from Honduras completely (Yes- little Emily DeMartini is a return missionary- yes we are old ladies). Her lesson was on the atonement. Then in choir practice we were working on O Holy Night and I was struck by the lyrics of the second verse.

I was really touched by the personal note in these lyrics. This in general is a formal grand song and there hidden in the middle is the sweet message that he knows all our pain- feels all our sorrow. The personal message- the tender mercies- the daily graces you need in your life.

The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;

In all our trials born to be our friend.

He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger

Just Because Some Things Should Be Recorded

I was just turning on the TV to try and see if I could record the Christmas Devotional later in the week since Alma told me as he got in bed that he had gotten distracted while he was setting the recorder and didn't finish the process. As I was searching the schedule a devotional with Pres. Monson was on. Beckett saw it and said "Pesident mama pesident." As I was looking for my show Beckett asked to keep watching President Monson and is happily sitting next to me watching, laughing with the crowd.

It is an especially good devotional we are watching- Monson's memories of the prophets he has known. And a very funny reference to his Navy vocabulary. And soothing to my wildebeest child in the middle of the night.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Yesterday was your typical Thanksgiving- tons of food, family, and games. But as I was driving home with the boys (Alma was already home in bed because he has to work today) I realized I hadn't had time for any thanksgiving. So I thought about what I am thankful for this year. I have those amazing gifts in my life that I am grateful for every year. My loving and tender husband, my funny boys who make me laugh every day and smother me with their love on a regular basis. I am thankful for two sisters who are everything to me. The reason I survived our childhood with a semblance of normalcy, and provide me with daily support, inspiration and love. I am always blessed by my extended family- my many steps and in-laws who have made this difficult year a little easier, who when I was in the depths continued to support and love me and give me hope for a brighter and healthier tomorrow.

But this year I think the thing I am most grateful for if the gift of eternal progression. The ability to grow and heal. Much of this year I was suffering from the pain and hurt of the past. It made it difficult to really live in the present and relish the time I have with the boys and Alma now. And that is not how I wanted to live. But my decades long ability to ignore and wall off the pain seemed to have been lost and I needed to find a healthier way to move forward with my life. And with a lot of support, love and work I can see that I am on the right path. That the pain of the past is in the past. That I can guide my future and relish the present. I am amazed at the ability of the soul to continue to heal and grow- to have hope and charity in the worst of times. So this year I am grateful for this gift of healing and progression. For the power of the atonement in my life.

So this has been living on my desktop for a while now. Coen randomly has me open it and add things. Mel from work really wants to get a large animal costume and be sitting under the tree on Christmas morning and jump up when the boys come running in and start cheering. On a more realistic note I think that one of Aunt Becky's box/duct tape robots would be really cool under our tree (hint hint).

Coen’s Wish List:

Football Uniforms for the whole team (Blue for him and brown for Beckett)

Knights on horses

Football Mascot

Toy Robot

Air Bender

two star wars guys

Luke Skywalker

Double light saber

star wars game- one where you save R2

star wars snow planet ball

star wars pencil

Oh and if you can tell- we are a little bit into Star Wars around here- and Coen is not my true fanatic. I can only imagine Beckett's list.

Thanksgiving is Just Around the Corner

Just a few weeks ago Coen said- "Halloween is over- so now we make turkey cookies, right?" Remember on a whim last year we made these cookies? Well I didn't realize that was going to become a tradition. Well tonight we made some misshapen cookies and then I burnt them. So it was a successful evening, so I guess we will try again this weekend.

Some Thoughts That Struck Me This Week

From Marianne Williamson (not Nelson Mandela like I always thought:)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Our worth in the world has always been tied to our looks, not the amazing miracle of our existence.

Courtney E. Martin

Sunset in Arizona

As my time here in Arizona comes to an end- I am overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings.

Mostly though I am feeling free- free of a burden I have carried for most of my life. I feel as if pounds of black sludge have been scooped out of my chest and left here in the barren desert. And I am returning to Alma and the boys unfettered by the past. A free strong woman.

I know life will still be hard. I know that I still have relationships with toxic people. I know that I have a lot of hard work ahead of me. But that work now seems possible. And the future looks hopeful.

After dinner tonight I took a drive through the desert and watched the sunset. And just drank up the infinite beauty and power available to me through my creator. I have an infinite amount of beauty and power as well. I am starting to believe that I truly am a miracle.

I was a miracle the day I came to this earth- all skinny legs and red hair. I was a miracle every time I survived, every time I didn't collapse under all the hate and abuse. I was a miracle when I clawed my way out of the black hole of our childhood. I am a miracle. A miracle that I made two perfect little boys. And it is a miracle that I am going forward and leaving the injury behind aware of the pain but able to know that it does not define me. My strength and divinity define me.

That is what I knew as I drove through the sunset in the desert.

Do you remember last year when I was obsessed with this show on BBC?

Well it was back- the gold lame suits, the evil genius Lord Webber- all of it. This time they are casting Oliver. They are showing the roles of Nancy and Oliver but there is only voting on the role of Nancy. I especially am happy about this as this was one of the musicals we did when I was a kid. And I actually have some happy memories form that time. So BBC has lured me back in. This week was the first episode- and my early favorites are Irish Nancy, the two toned hair girl who is curvaceous- and this one blond girl.

Also the winning Maria has been a huge hit and she even won the London Critics award.

Just Another Day in the Clove House

Just a quick note about today- We had a children's Halloween party here at the house. And even though I left the camera out on the counter I didn't take a single picture. It was the right sized group- about the perfect mix of old and new friends- boys and girls. I made fruit and veg trays, cheese and crackers, pumpkin muffins filled with spiced cream cheese, and a cranberry bread pudding with pecan praline on top (that recipe needed a little refining). The kids put glitter stickers on a pumpkin coloring page and we made carmel apples and let the kids cover them in sprinkles, m&ms, or peanuts (or all three). It was fun to see the kids different approaches and interest levels to these activities. It was a fun day. Some nice visiting time for the mothers and my house was less torn up than it usually is. Also two new borns and those are always fun.

During the party Beckett was not so pleasant. He went to bed really late last night and was a little grumpy about kids touching his things- so he put them all in his crib and got in there and yelled at Kennedi to stop looking at him. He also didn't like kids touching the M&Ms (but he then got a baggy and put some in it and sat in the corner and was okay) he also didn't like them spilling on the floor. Then in the middle of the party he fell and split his head open and wouldn't keep the steri strips on it and so I had to superglue it. sigh.

Coen loved it and played and visited the whole time. He is my social guy. When everyone left he made all the left over apples for his cousins and Tractor Grandparents. And he made them cards- my personal favorite was the "circle ghost with four wheels".

Then I went to cooking class at the Toro's and that as usual was fabulous. Yum and lots of ideas for fast easy asian meals at home.

As I was getting Coen ready to go eat dinner, Alma told him he couldn't take blankie. Coen had a melt down. I trying to calm him down explained that he usually never takes blankie out of the house and did he want to go eat with a baby blankie? He agreed with one caveat- blankie wasn't a baby blankie- it was a big boy blankie.

When I got home Alma was in bed and the boys were running around like maniacs. They had dinner with Tractor Grandpa while Grandma and I were at the class. We played a little longer and cuddled and got hyper and finally are in bed.

When I was laying with Coen he said "You like to sleep with Dad."

I responded "yes I do. When you get married you will probably like to sleep with your wife."

"Kennedi is my girlfriend and we are getting married in 4 months."

"Oh Coen" I said, "I will miss you so much."

"Well, I will send you cards. I will put an M on it so you will know it is for you. And inside I will write HBCTKM because those are the letters I know." (Whenever he sees an M he say M for mama)

"You won't visit me?"

"Well, we will be pretty busy."

As I left the room Beckett had wrapped his Star Wars DVDs in his blankie and was rocking them.

All is finally quiet in the Clove house so I am off to sit in the tub and read a book.

And on an unrelated note-just because I want to record it. Coen and I were in Ben Franklin (where they rip you off because they know you have no other option in town) and he was chatting and playing with some Halloween decoration and I was only half listening. He kept saying this is a B and this is O and this is O and moving the letters around and then he said "Mom look I just made them say Boo. See B O O says boo." I got all excited- our first sight word. And with no coaching other than all the stuff he helped me hang up for Halloween at our house. Maybe he is starting to get interested in letters! And I wasn't really paying attention so I hope that those paper mache letters weren't injured in his letter exploration.

And another note- I din't get anything done Alma had put on my to do list- sorry. And I just kept thinking about all the people I wished lived close enough to come play at my house and do crazy messy activities and crafts with- like Becky and Megan and Andrea and Emily and Christy and on and on and on. I wish I could see those I love more often. But then if you all lived close I wouldn't have to force myself to go out of my way to meet new people.

Oh and Megan- Tara Kellerman (married to Seth Kellerman) was at the party with 2 of her 4 girls and that was so fun and I look forward to doing more with them- I just thought you would think it was fun too. They moved back into town when he got a job as the minister at the Episcopalian church in GV last year. Isn't that fun!

We watch these incessantly at our house

So these are a huge hit with the boys. We watch them a lot. Beckett saying JibJab is pretty funny. Look for cameos by Brian and Obi Wan and Nick as Darth Vader.

Cute Video to Come

We have entered a new phase in our home. A time period I think of as the Star Wars Years. I actually thought to myself a couple of weeks ago "ahh, we have entered the Star Wars Years". Now Coen likes Star Wars and has for a while, and we have a lot of Star Wars toys, but Beckett is our real fanatic. He has taken the mania to a whole new level.

Almost every game he plays is Star Wars themed. My favorite is when he grabs me and pulls me into the hall saying "Run Pincess. Pincess follow me." and he drags me down the hall way crouching like Hans and shooting all the "Toopers" following us. He is usually Hans, Coen is Luke, I am Princess Leia, and Alma is Chewbacca. But this afternoon he wouldn't let Coen be Luke he just kept yelling "tooty-tooty" and pointing at him. It took a while but we finally figured out he meant R2D2. And just two hours later I had already forgotten what that meant when he was having a melt down because "tooty-tooty" had fallen down behind the toy chest.

The boys have different favorite movies in the series. So when I agree to let them watch one there is usually a big fight over whether we would watch A New Hope or Return of the Jedi. Who ever loses the deal cries like mad for the first twenty minutes of the movie or I threaten a time out. Beckett usually tells me it is "Storie- storie" Which either means scary or dark. He uses it interchangeably. One of my favorite things that happened during a movie- Beckett started screaming at the top of his lungs "Storie mommy storie" So I ran into the room and Beckett was pointing at the screen. It was the part of the movie where Yoda is raising the X-wing (Beckett's favorite "space-ip") out of the swamp and my little OCD guy was crying and saying "Mommy dirty- space-ip dirty dirty." He made me fast forward this terrifying scene. Normally while the movie is playing the boys get all their guys out and set them up, or they make their own spaceships. Any thing arranged in a group is a spaceship. Or they make a swamp out of the couch cushions. Or they chase each other around the room and jump on the couch with their light sabers and blaster.

Beckett has also made a little pile of the DVDs and some Star Wars X-Box games. He sorts them all day and carries them around where ever he goes. He sleeps with them- and some times an X-wing or the Millennium Falcon. If you refer to them as his DVDs he says "No mama- Daddy's DVs." He has been known to kiss them.

I got the best video the other night of Beckett in Hans Solo mode. But the cord is in the room where Alma is sleeping. So I will have to download it later. It is one of the things that will make me sob like a baby when I watch it when he is a big boy.

I've Been Crafty

So I have been crafting a little. This is one of my favorite things I have done recently. I also made a matching clip for Annie to wear too. It was one of those things that turned out how I imagined. I was so tickled with how cute the little doll looks!

I also made this scarf for Luke's halloween costume. He called me on the phone and said "Aunt Polly I am going to be Harry Potter for Halloween, would you make me a scarf? It is red and yellow. " I bit my tongue and didn't tell him it is actually maroon and gold. So I hopped into my new project and looked and a ton of pictures. I changed this from the original a little. Those are made as a big tube which is really warm and luxurious looking. I started working in the round, and then I thought. What the heck is wrong with me- this is for a kid in California! So I simplified a little. Still there were a couple of things that annoyed me. The cheap-o yarn only had these two colors in two different weights and that was a little odd. (As I was headed to the third store I reminded myself that this was for a kids Halloween costume- so I dealt with it). But I learned that I hate knitting with cheap-o yearn. Ick. It makes knitting a chore. Ick- it feels gross and you just want to stop touching it. But not willing to by merino for a child's Halloween costume. And my model is cute- but not cooperative. We will have to really appreciate it on Becky's blog when she posts pics of the kids on there costumes. And for my kids? Nada. It will probably be store bought and not cute- which I always hate- but I am not going to make a spiderman costume or an X-wing fighter pilot costume. I am not insane. And I can't convince my kids that any of the pottery barn costumes that I could replicate are cute. And Alma and I want them to be knights and we will follow them around banging coconuts together. But they won't agree. Which is sad because their little friends are going to be princesses and wouldn't that be darling!?!

So still coming- a darling baby sweater- so cute! and three hats for my mom's bald head- I kinda don't want to give away. But I still need to take some pictures of those. And sorry for the bad lighting of the doll- you see I finish crafting late at night and needed to wrap the gift, hence the crap lighting.

The decorations are out. I am especially happy with how cute all the pumpkins I made last year look on the mantle. So Coen and I put all of these up after Beckett was in bed. My little OCD child woke up in the morning and freaked out. We barely made it into the hall when he saw the mantle and started screaming "My house, my house!" over and over. And he wasn't excited- he was angry. He wouldn't calm down and eat until I walked all around the house and showed him everything we had done and let him look, and touch it and complain to me a little. I wasn't really expecting that. And I think I have a thing for banners. I have to stop myself or move on to a different holiday. I don't think I have any for St Patrick's day yet.

Thanksgiving

I find when I am overwhelmed- feeling a little sad for myself- you know when you have the whiney mopes- nothing helps so much as trying to be thankful. So even though it is a little early I have been singing For the Beauty of the Earth a lot the last couple of weeks. And then I saw this. I have a new favorite version. I can't listen without crying a little. And I can't watch this and not wish my musical friends and family lived a little closer so we could gather for a homey meal and when the kids are mellow gather around the guitar and piano and sing. I am not as talented as my friends and family but I love singing. I love it. I love singing with those I love. So Marika do you think we could do a nice version of this and then maybe start working on Ave Maria like we have been talking about forever? Anyone else want to come and sing? Susan I think we need a tambourine player, Andrea and Malinda- I would love to sing with your voices. Nick- Cody will you bring your stringed instruments? I think it would be an amazing night. I will provide fabulous food (that is what I do).

And just back to the message. As painful and difficult as this life is I am so overwhelmed by the love which from our birth over and around us lies. I am so thankful. Thankful for the amazing bounty and love and freedom that I take for granted most days.

I was grocery shopping today because our cupboard was bare. Poor kids no yogurt no cereal no bananas what were they going to do? And as I was checking out the immense amount of restocking I thought about all the rice and beans, and canned goods, and frozen food in the garage and felt so silly for thinking we had nothing in the house. There is more food in my "bare" cupboards than many people on this earth could even begin to have access to. How spoiled we are. And do I do enough to acknowledge the bounty in my life? Do I do enough to help those who struggle. How simple and silly my worries seem sometimes.

This picture just sums up me on this vacation.

-Cute top (I really loved a lot of the clothes I packed)

-Curly out of control hair

-Ever present camera around my neck (I know it makes me look like a tourist- but I go everywhere with it)

-Big sunglasses

-I am eating some cheese

-Lovely weather

-Just wandering enjoying the moment

The only thing missing is my cute red shoes. They are darn cute!

This was at Montserrat in Spain. This was also where Coen was begging for me to buy him some cheese. I said no. So the man at that particular stand gave Coen the cheese (because people like to spoil strange children). And Coen put it in his mouth chewed it twice and spit it on the ground. I thought I would die of embarrassment. After cleaning our mess and apologizing to the man we moved on. And I thought- I really couldn't blame him- Spanish cheese is the pits! Which is why I said no when he first asked (if we had been in France I would have encouraged and interest in cheese buying).

I just want to point out that when I first saw this as I was scrolling through Alma's pics tonight my initial thoughts were not so kind to myself. But because I am trying to grow I stopped myself and made me list all the reasons this was a great picture. And now when I look at it I really like it- Now I just have to figure out how to look in the mirror and really like that too.

So if you didn't know I have a thing for Impressionists, and Monet in particular.

And now you get why I love this picture.

The light was perfect- a little country road- slight breeze.

Aren't you just waiting for a lady with a parasol to walk over the hill?

And fair warning I really have a thing for Impressionists. I can be a little obsessive compulsive. And during a very painful year in my childhood I hid in the world of Impressionism. I read a lot and I really read a lot about things I love. So I can talk your ear off- wanted or not- if I get started. Someday I will be a docent at a museum- and bore little school children and old ladies with my accumulated knowledge. For now I try to hold myself in check and not bore the world.

Poor Alma has to travel with me- And for now I just bore him. I keep looking for someone who will be happy to talk about how politics affected the French art movement in the mid to late nineteenth century. I also could recommend several books.

I think I particularly love Monet because his paintings evoke peace, tranquility. And at this time in my life I needed a lot of peace and tranquility. But as much as I love Monet's poppies- it can't begin to touch the peace and joy in my life walking along this road, holding Alma's hand a sleepy baby on his shoulder and a prancing toddler ahead of us. I am living the dream I imagined as a young girl when I gazed at these paintings for hours on end.

I will save my thoughts on the political/social connections to Gaudi's art. I will bore you with those thoughts if I finally get around to blogging on our time in Barcelona.

Becky Says My Boys Wrestle Everywhere

She may be right. Apparently Luke and Charlie were crazy aggressive when they got home from Europe- ambushes, body checks, and long wrestling matches (all enjoyed by the participants with much laughter). But Becky was confused, what had taken over her children? Then she remembered- they just spent 2 weeks with Coen and Beckett.

There is just something about brothers. And I must admit that all this wrestling warms my little heart. I just love the constant rolling on the ground, the giggles, and the sneak attacks. Most of the time they are just enjoying each other in that rough male way of theirs. This is how they like to interact. This is not what they do when they are arguing- that involves screaming, grabbing, and hitting- that gets you a time out. But hiding on the couch until your brother walks by so you can jump on him and knock him to the ground? I ignore that.

All part of my benign neglect parenting theory.

This should have pictures- but uhm it doesn't

Coen is at that age where he is saying the best stuff so here are this weeks favorites.

-He was at Kennedi's house the other day. In typical girl fashion she was debating what to wear. She had finally narrowed it down to two outfits. She then turned to Coen and asked "Which one should I wear Coen?" Coen threw his hands in the air and said "I can't do this!" When asked if he picked his clothes he said "No- my mom does that."

-The other day his cousins gave him a Bears football helmet. When I tried to explain that this was a team in Chicago and what they were called he corrected me. "No this is a new team- see it has a C on the helmet like Coen." When I asked what they were called he said "The Co-nadons. And there quarterback is named Coen Dean Clove and there is a good player named Beckett but he kept punching players and knocking them out so the refs put him on a time out forever."

-He hugs me all the time and tells me he will love me "forever and ever".

-Today he told me "Mom I want to color some tigers. I can do the stripes but I need you to do the rest."

-While I was cooking the four batches of Shepard's pie tonight Coen told me he wanted to watch Project Runway when I told him it wasn't on until tomorrow he asked if he could watch Top Chef then. I think he wanted me to put something I like on so I would sit and cuddle him on the couch.

And just so I can brag about Beckett too- He is just so lovely and plays for hours by himself like Coen never did. Just this afternoon he made soup with his star wars guys- played train tracks- and played in the little oven for several hours, just playing happily.

He does fine motor skills so well- and Coen was really good at the gross motor stuff. Beckett is still in the crib- he has climbed out off and on for a year but never remembers that he can do it for months and months.

He calls Coen "Brovy" which just melts my heart.

I went to kiss him good night the other day and he wiped it off and said "Daddy and Brovy kiss me already" Only I am the only one who could have interpreted this statement.

He feels the need to pray along with anyone else. This includes prayers in sacrament meeting. he prays loudly and if the person skips part he feels should be there he screams it until it is included or I take him out of the room.

We are struggling with bed time. It would be less of an issue if Alma didn't go to bed at the same time and needs his sleep. So I can't really let Beckett through a fit until he wears himself out.

I am really enjoying how fast his vocab is growing.

Coen and Beckett wrestle all day long. They rough house like crazy and kiss and hug each other all day long.

Oh and this is a sad little story. Coen and Beckett have been moving these cement pavers which I just know would injury somebody. But I didn't think it would be me! So Coen had moved their spaceship into the garage pavers and all. And while I was carrying stuff into the garage I didn't see the pile and I fell (very hard) and landed on my knee and hip. So my knee is like ground beef and my dress slacks that still fit are shredded and I have to leave for work in a few minutes. As I was crying and cleaning my knee Coen asked what was wrong. I told him I tripped on the pavers he had left on the floor. He got the saddest look on his little face and said sorry in a little voice. He then ran to the garage and moved all the pavers out. It was so sweet and he was so concerned.

Somedays Motherhood is Just as I Dreamed

Last week I had one of those dreamy perfect days. The boys played for hours and hours with out fighting. (Now if life were really perfect I would have enjoyed this by laying on a blanket in the shade reading- but instead I payed bills and fought with comcast on the phone.) I just love listening in to the kids talking and imagining.

Coen was explaining to Beckett Military strategy here. He was saying things like the bad guys come this way and you are standing here and I am standing here and we go like this and chase them ect... ect. As you can see from the drawings it was a complex and lengthy encounter.

Then they spent a long time putting this together. You may think that this is a strange pile of trash, sticks and the forgotten outside toys- but you would be wrong. This is a spaceship. And you may think the pilot sits in the chair in front, as I did, but you would be wrong. Beckett is really into space right now. But unlike Coen who likes to read books about the Hubble telescope- Beckett just likes to fly around the house making spaceship noises and likes to be called space boy.

I love the phase where they like to line things up and sort. And of course my little OCD Beckett has embraced this with gusto.

At one point Beckett thought that as they had finished putting all the toys in the spaceship they should start putting the pavers there too. I had to end this - Do you see those poor little toes? I can't even imagine the crying when he drops this.

They would take breaks to shoot Mom through the windows.

While Beckett took a nap Coen and I made these. He designed them and glued some of the pieces on and I used the hot glue gun for the ones that needed a little more than craft glue. But I just put things where he told me to. It was fun to work together and I think they turned out great.

Then Coen took off his pants and tuned the couch into a giant obstacle course.

Oh and did you notice how pitiful the patio is. It is awful. I can't wait until we have the time and money to fix it. I just normally try to pretend that I can't see it and it doesn't exist. But I do have dreams.

Coen Has Been Feeling Crafty Too

So we had fun making these.

Fair warning many of you may be getting a random craft bug guy in the mail.

Coen very seriously tried to create something special for many of his cousins.

So I have been feeling a little crafty.

I think I am getting my mojo back.

You see I have been in a little slump lately.

I take that back- it has been a big slump.

It has been months and months- well since April.

And I have felt like I was living in a fog- just surviving.

I didn't know how to come back.

Alma has been waiting for his wife to come back.

And I think she is starting to peak her head out of the hole she has been hiding in.

I am starting to read again- and wanting to craft.

And trying to enjoy my every day moments.

I don't know if it just wanting to move on- or that I scheduled my time at The Meadows and I know I am getting ready to move on.

ANYWAYS- back to the reason I started to post anyways.

I am crafting again.

And I have had these left over beads hanging around since the last Relief Society craft day- and yes I lose money every time I put one of these together. I don't want to hear anymore about it Becky and Alma.

Soooo- I made these necklaces.

But now I don't have anything to do with them. Well I already gave one to Jessica for her birthday- it was teal with a gray ribbon very cute. I also made her a cute little crocheted flower head band and some blue silk clips.

But I do have a deep love of comments on the blog.

It is the desperate insecure giant 13 year old that is my psyche.

I really love comments.

So I will mail these to the three best comments left.

And Becky you will not be chosen.

Unless your comment is amazing.

Because you never leave comments unless you are teasing the pimply 13 y/o.

They are really cute- i think you would like them.

So feel free to leave a comment with a joke or with lavish praise.

Overheard

Beckett I didn't poop on your blanket- I only pooped on my special blankie.

So we are a little obsessed with this song right now. And every time I hear it I think of Kayli who I don't really know but feel like I do because her sister is my adopted sister. So this is for you Kayli.

Have I mentioned that Coen is in love with the iphone?

So our primary has a bulletin board in the hall way- like most do. And we were tickled to find this little jewel on ours.

I love the off kilter tie (he insists on wearing a tie- the bigger the better), the grin, and his silly little quote. I love this kid.

This is the lovely town of Blois. We had probably my favorite meal of the trip. Squab stuffed with rabbit, roasted root vegetables and a pumpkin pudding. Not very seasonly appropriate- but the day was rainy and it seemed right. The boys had a very good white fish and this was our view. Very lovely. We then went to the chateau. Which was a little crazy. Alma had done the research about what we chateaus were worth visiting. When looking at the map I read off names to him and when I read Blois he said yes that was it. But he really wanted Amboise- but he couldn't hear the difference with his non French ears. We drove by Amboise on our way here- it looked nice from a distance. Alma can still barely hear the difference between the two words. So the city of Blois was nice the chateau a little surreal. It is right in the center of town. We enjoyed exploring the city before and after lunch.

We really enjoyed wandering around this lovely little park.

Some other highlights- one of my favorite downtown pedestrian shopping areas, the boys loved the blockades that blinked and disappeared in the ground, and this "spy passage" that we went down during our eternal search for the PNB Paribus because we were in desperate need of money. Coen was really into spies and knights during the trip. Everything was a spy passage, he spoke into these little High School Musical sweat bands like they were his communication device to home base. They followed us home and still make the odd appearance.

When we left the chateau we walked across the courtyard to this magic museum that had Dragons making noise and moving around. This went on for a while before they disappeared back into the building. Very strange town.

Villandry

As we toured the charming interiors of the chateau at Villandry we kept getting distracted by the glimpses through the windows. This is a chateau still owned by the family and there were pictures of them scattered through out the home. I really loved that touch. This is a chateau with an American connection. The Duke (or whatever I can't really remember) married a steel heiress, together they used her money to restore the gardens and home to its glory days. They were especially passionate about the gardens and this showed. Their grandchildren own the home today.

And then we got outside to the breathtaking gardens. Mostly these are vegetables and herbs surrounded by hedges. It was interesting to me to read about their crop rotation and wishing I could see the pumpkins in the fall. (This was mostly only interesting to me and no one else in the gardens.) The vistas just went on and on. Also notice how few people are walking around.

Ignore the butt and the sensible but hideous walking shoes. This was not my best moment fashion wise- but I am being a good girl and including myself in some of these family memories- despite the big rear and ugly shoes.

Vegetables

Beckett is in heaven with a gravel walk way. He loves to wander- he thinks on his own- and stop every few steps to pick up some pebbles. And I love to see my little man in these majestic settings. I just think it is the most charming thing I have ever seen.

This is the face you make when your parents don't let you through a pocketful of pebbles in the fountain. And then they don't let you climb into the fountain. Life is hard. This is less charming than the previous picture.

Just when you think you have seen the garden you walk through a hedge and there is another garden and then another. And then around the corner there is a playground- oh and then a tennis court. There were whole sections we missed- and we were in the gardens for hours.

The Sun Garden

The Butterfly Garden

This was by far one of our favorite spots on the trip. These were the finest gardens by far. It was one of those magical places that the boys and the parents loved. It filled you with this bubble sense of awe and joy. You just felt so lucky to be in this amazing spot. Wandering around with no one getting in your way just soaking it in. Oh and of course there was a chocolate and pistachio ice cream in the park afterwards.